It was a HOT day. Unusually hot for me, considering Im from New Hampshire, and Arizona is much hotter during the summer time. We were going to have an amazing week! We were going to drive out to the Grand Canyon, and hike down to the bottom. After, we were planning to hike back up and believe me; I wasnt looking forward to that part as much.
We packed up the motor home and hopped in to start on our way. I was soooo relieved to be in something air-conditioned. Ive always been the type of person who loves to be freezing cold and then warm up. My choice of seating in the motor home was up on the bed above the driver and passenger seat. I put my headphones on and turned up my music. Ready to travel the day away. Ready to see the sights, that is if I could stay awake. There was a nice window across the front of the loft I was in and the sun beat in while the air conditioner blew at my feet making it just warm and cool enough to doze off and eventually fall fast asleep.
I remember this next moment so vividly, muffled voices and footsteps, doors slamming, and the sound of my Celine Dion cd slowly becoming clearer as well as this faint beeping noise. I smelt smoke, I was dreaming about a fire. It was so real; I could hear panic in the voices around me. The beeping noise was becoming increasingly louder, then with a sudden lurch I came to my senses and opened my eyes only to see smoke piling into the loft I was laying in. I sat up and looked through the window that was next to me and saw my brother, mum and dad across the street staring in horror at the motor home.
I jumped down off the bed. I had this panicky feeling in my chest that I tried to ignore as I crawled under the loft into the driving part of the motor home. I looked at the passenger door and the driver door and all I could see were flames. The panic feeling grew larger.
I ran to the middle of the motor home to the door we normally used for when it was parked and were at camp. Just as I opened the door to step out two walls of flames rose up on both sides of the motor home. The wind that these walls of flames created knocked me to the floor. I started to cry. The panic started to show, I was starting to breath in smoke and was becoming so disorientated.
I grabbed a pot hanging on the wall and ran to the back of the motor home. I started to bang the window as hard as I could, not even a crack. I started to kick at it with my feet. Panic set in and I started screaming hysterically.
Then, I remember everything becoming silent. I could not hear the fire alarm. I was screaming and coughing and couldn't even hear that. I was not aware of where I was anymore, I cant even remember seeing. I remember praying frantically inside my head, I dont want to die, I dont want to die, please God I dont want to die, Sara, dont die get out dont die. Right about then I started to feel so peaceful inside. Like I just knew all was going to be ok. I just kind of stood in the middle of the motor home with all the chaos silently around me. Then my senses came back on and I heard my dad.
He was calling from the front of the motor home. Up near the drivers seat. I ran to his voice as fast as I could and crawled in his arms. He pulled me out and helped me across the street. The fire on the driver side had somehow stopped and he was able to get me.
A couple cars had pulled over to help, and a nice woman helped me into one. I was shaking so hard I couldnt even hold the cup of water she had tried to give me. Someone handed me a blanket and I wrapped myself in it. Even though it was 95 outside I was so cold.
I turned around in my seat and watched the fire catch to the paint, and quickly envelope the whole vehicle. The window that I had tried to bang open exploded, one by one the tires popped. The flames made me cringe. I have never felt so helpless in my entire lifetime as I did then.
It took over an hour for the fire truck to come. We were traveling on a back road through the mountains, so they had to get water elsewhere before they came. The motor home was gone in 20 min. By the time they were there, the only remnants of the motor home were the seat frames and bits of unidentifiable pieces.
Our family was blessed that day. Erik and mum had second-degree burns on their feet because they didnt have time to put on socks and shoes and the pavement burnt their feet. My dad only had the hair on his legs singed off when he ran up to the motor home to get me. And me I escaped with my life. My dad and I stayed behind with the firemen while Erik and mum were brought to the hospital. As we talked with one fireman he asked us how long I had been in the motor home. My dad estimated about a couple minuets. I told him about the smoke, and how packed the motor home was with it. The fireman said any more time in there I would have been dead.
I cannot say that day God chose to let me live. However, if that is what you choose to take from this I do understand where you are coming from. But this is a different convo. and is not my focus of the story
During that very moment when all turned silent in the fire I know I was not by myself. Never in my life have I felt so sure of everything I believed in. At that moment I knew that whether I lived or died didnt matter, it was my faith that mattered. I had found calm in the chaos.
You may say, Well, it was God with you. It was a miracle! And maybe it was
Or you may be reading this and thinking Im crazy. Maybe you dont believe in God. I understand. Its a hard thing. I cannot prove to you that God does exist, nor do I want to. I believe God is a God of choice, and it is up to an individual to decide whether they choose to believe or not believe. God would not force an individual to decide so neither will I. Its up to us. Do we choose to accept or deny good? Do we choose to love or to hate? Do we choose self or higher purpose?
I am leaving the conclusion as to how I managed to find a calm in that fire up to you. Either way it was a happy ending for me. But whichever way, by chance or by miracle, I am happy I have chosen to have faith.
By: Sara Sue Renee
"Faith certainly tells us what the senses do not, but not the contrary of what they see; it is above, not against them."
~Blaise Pascal
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